We are not comforted so that we can be comfortable but so that we may be able to comfort others.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

August 26,2011

Jace has been asking alot lately about moving back to our old home.  I asked why he wanted to move back and he told me "even though dad is gone if we move back to our house and go back to our old school it will feel like our life is kinda like it used to be with dad".  As the mounting sadness began to flood over me I realized that Michael was not just my home he was also my children's home.  Our home was with him and this kind of severe devastation and great loss can only be healed by our great and ever able God.  He reminded me that Christ is my home.

"Christ is wisdom and He is our deepest need.  Our inner restlessness
can only be pacified by the revelation of His eternal friendship and love for us"
Margaret Bottome

"My home is God Himself. Christ brought me there. 
Self effort failed and I was filled with fear, and then
I found Christ was the only way, that I must come to Him
and in Him stay.  My home is God and sheltered there God meets
the trials of my earthly life, God compasses round from storm and strife
God takes the burden of my daily care. Oh wondrous place!
Oh Home divinely fair!"
Streams in the Desert pg 327

How wonderfully sweet and sufficient Christ is to fill all voids and meet all my needs.  The more I trust Him the more He proves Himself faithful.  The faster I run to Him the quicker He is to meet me.  His grace and love are never exhausted.  How comforting for my soul to know that He will never grow tired from my tears and His patience with me will never grow thin.  I will not wear Him out with my inabilities and great needs.  He has freed me from trying to find this comfort outside of Him.  Restoration and healing can only come from Him.  In not expecting this from others He has allowed to be blessed by the wonderful people He has placed in my life.  It never ceases to amaze me to see how beautifully orchestrated God has created the body of Christ to work.  How they weep with those who weep and come along side those who are weak and this was all designed by our great and compassionate God.  When I married Michael my biggest fear was losing him.  And then when he was diagnosed with high risk multiple myeloma my biggest fear was that when God took him home I would no longer love Christ because the anger and sadness would surely overwhelm me.  But nothing, no nothing can separate me from His love.  It is all Christ that keeps me fettered to Him and His grip on me can NEVER be severed. 
Oh the the keeping of Christ is so very great and perfect.