Trusting God wholly and completely means that I have surrendered my life and everything I hold dear to Him. I feel like these past few years I keep saying over and over again "Yes, NOW He has taught me to trust Him and surrender all". It must mean that life here on this earth is a process of trusting Him. Part of the sanctification process He began in me the day He justified me and made me His child.
This is the life He had planned for me since the beginning of time. When He was forming me in my mother's womb my love story with my Saviour was already written, from beginning to end.
7 months have gone by since my Michael has gone home. What a wonderful gift he was to me. God gave him to me to love for almost 15 years. I've spent a lot of time thinking of how I could have been a better wife to him, how I could have encouraged him more, how I could have enjoyed and treasured my time with him more, the list is almost endless. But God always brings me back and reminds me of His love for me. His wonderful grace that would save such a sinner like me.
All my life I have been searching for this deep deep love that transcends all knowledge and that will go to unimaginable depths. And all my life my Saviour has been calling me to look to Him. He shed His own blood for my soul. That is the love my heart was searching for. He is my love story.
How true it will ring for us, that "one look on His face and everything will fade away". We only see as in a dimly lit mirror what it will really be like when we behold Him in all His glory.
Oh how unfettered my Michael must be right now. Fully beholding our Christ, basking in His love and holiness. Completely unrestrained from all sin and sickness.
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