I had resolved myself to wait for God to provide the home He had for us, knowing that my time and God's time are hardly ever the same. I hate to admit this but I thought "surely the good God has planned for me is not going to seem very good to me at the time. I will either have to wait a very long time or the place He has for us will be a small cramped space that I will need to learn how to adjust to". But God's good truly is GOOD. He provided just what we needed and has given me the grace to not only be content with it, but to be over joyed and the attitude to say "How great and good my God is". He blessed us even when my attitude would have warranted something much worse.
Now having said how very thankful and excited I am to be in our own home again, I am also apprehensive and scared that I won't be able to manage it properly. What a heavy load I now bear by myself, now that my sweet love is gone. I have 4 lives that I am solely responsible to raise and now a home and finances to take care of.
I will take all of this to my heavenly Father whose promises are always true and He has never failed me nor will He ever forsake me.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light"
Matthew 11:28-30
In all of my years as a Christian, I have never had such a great need to take God at His Word. My survival now hinges on resting on His Word. Why did it take such great tragedy to bring me to this need and closeness? A friend told me right after Michael passed away, when we go home, we will no longer ask why, but we will be able to say Oh that is why.
So I will continue to praise His goodness towards me always trusting His promises, relying on Christ to keep me from leaning on my own understanding.
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